I guess this was a fast-moving story. After all, by the time the sub-editor had finished writing that headline, it emerged that this particular UFO was neither U nor F. Apparently, it “turned out to be” a piece of a Russian rocket. Too bad they couldn’t revise the headline on time before the Internet went to press.
All of which is kind of odd seeing as the Mirror cite as their own source the following Tweet, which at the time of writing was two days old…
News just in! (Two days ago)
…and that that Tweet linked to a news story on openminds.tv, which itself was a further three days old…
Seriously. Open minds.
…and that that website linked back to the original news report on chinanews.com, where the object’s origins as part of a failed Russian rocket were explained.
So, really, all this played out to a conclusion last Friday. Which in internet time is basically last year.
It is well known that UFO stories help fill space on slow news days.
I guess in this case the news was just reeeeaaaalllllyyyy slow.
Say hello to Ippo.
No, not the Japanese manga boxer (after whom he’s no doubt named), but this little fella:
He’s a zonkey. Or a zebroid. Or a zorse. Or a zony.
Or a zemule. Or a zebonkey. Or even a zebronkey.
Or a zebadonk. Or a donkra.
Or…wait for it…
…a horbra! (Just don’t say that one out loud).
Except he’s not exactly that. A horbra (careful) is technically a cross between a horse and a zebra, whereas this guy is a cross between a donkey and a zebra. Basically, he’s a zebroid.
The neat thing about a donkey-zebra hybrid is that donkeys and zebras are fairly different genetically — donkeys have 62 chromosomes, whereas zebras have between 32 and 46 — so the idea they can cross-breed helps to highlight the universality of the biological basis to all animal life. There’s no guarantee of any offspring whenever a donkey and a zebra, erm, you know, try for a baby. In fact, the odds are quite low. But yet it does happen. More often than you’d think.
Ippo was born in an animal shelter in Florence, Italy, just 4 months ago. In reporting the news, the Daily Mirror wasn’t altogether comfortable drawing on the extensive available lexicon of zebroid terms. Ever the salacious tabloid, the Mirror decided to describe poor Ippo as something else. In the end, they went with…”accidental love child“.
I mean, what would’ve been so wrong with “Debra”?
Mmmmm. Chocolate cake. As in “cake” with “chocolate” in it. It’s a straightforward, yet somehow radical, concept. Except it’s not that radical. It’s just everyday, common-or-garden, run-of-the-mill chocolate cake. Tastes nice, but is not good for you; eating lots of it makes you fat, etc., etc., etc. Everybody knows this. I mean, if you were to stop eating, say, fruit for breakfast every morning, and started to eat chocolate cake for breakfast instead, that would just be crazy, wouldn’t it? For one thing, it would make you put on weight, that would. Wouldn’t it?
But have a look at these headlines: “Want to lose weight? Eat chocolate cake for breakfast, say researchers” (Daily Mirror), “Chocolate cake breakfast could help you lose weight” (Daily Telegraph), “Happy Chocolate Day! Chocolate cake for breakfast could help you lose weight” (Huffington Post), “Dessert with breakfast can help weight loss” (MSN New Zealand), “Desserts at Breakfast Could Lead to Weight Loss (Really!)” (Allure Magazine), and many more.
It’s those darned “researchers” again, turning the breakfast tables on us and grabbing the media’s attention. According to these guys, it seems as though eating chocolate cake at breakfast actually helps you to lose weight, rather than put it on. Whodathunkit? I guess that’s why people who eat lots of cake are just so thin.
And that’s that, I suppose. End of. Nothing to see here.
But hang on a minute…
Continue reading “Want to lose weight? Hint: Do NOT eat chocolate cake”