The Starbucks I go to is now selling magic beans. Well, matcha tea lattes actually, which are like magic beans in the sense that they possess special powers:
Detox the body
High in antioxidants
Helps the immune system
I was particularly intrigued at the last claim. This latte actually “burns calories”.
Which is strange, because a venti serving of said magic tea latte — sorry, matcha tea latte — contains 316 calories all on its own, making it the most calorie-laden tea drink on the menu:
This is pretty much a similar number of calories as in one of those super-sized chocolate chip cookies they sell.
Hmm. Do the chocolate cookies also “burn” calories?
Obviously this is all ridiculous. When you drink a venti matcha tea latte, you consume calories, you don’t burn them. You consume as many calories as you would if you ate a chocolate biscuit.
Physical activity burns calories. Some other things (like stress) can also burn calories, but not always in a good way.
You can’t burn calories by consuming them.
But I guess anything that claims to perform “detox” is bound to be bunkum.
Readers might remember that I got nice new frames for my spectacles lately. Of course, the same visit to the optometrist revealed me to have ‘dry eye’, a condition associated with being pregnant, suffering a stroke, and other things (such as having eyes).
Well, in the course of doing some research for this book I’m writing, I have now discovered something bad about dry eye. Something really bad.
Take a look at this extract from Louise L. Hay‘s 1994 classic best-selling book, You Can Heal Your Life…
Not a dry eye left in the house. Apart from mine
It’s from a table of physical health problems that runs on and on over several pages. It’s not just any old list. According to Louise, it’s “the” list.
You can see ‘Dry Eye’ right there, in between Depression and Dysentery. Now, what’s really worrying are the other two entries in the table. Basically, according to Louise L. Hay, the ‘probable cause’ of my having dry eye is as follows:
Angry eyes. Refusing to see with love. Would rather die than forgive. Being spiteful.
You see? I knew I wasn’t pregnant! Continue reading “My battle against dry eye: I never thought things would get *this* bad…”
So, how can it be that homeopathy sometimes seems to work? Well there are a few possible explanations:
- The universe is broken
- Placebo etc.
- They’re cutting the stuff with real penicillin
Full marks to those of you who selected #3. Because, that’s right, it’s yet another example of alternative drug pushers contaminating their products with undeclared industrial additives. Continue reading “The homeopathic drugs DO work. Because they’re drugs”