Religion. Guns. Religion. Guns.
Not just any old guns, but — no doubt because they are ‘in’ at the moment — AR-15s. Yes, the type of semiautomatic rifle used in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School massacre.
So what could be more appropriate at this time? How about a religious ceremony to bless all the guns?
Crown-wearing worshippers clutching AR-15 rifles drank holy wine and exchanged or renewed wedding vows in a commitment ceremony at a Pennsylvania church on Wednesday, prompting a nearby school to cancel classes.
With state police and a smattering of protesters standing watch outside the church, brides clad in white and grooms in dark suits brought dozens of unloaded AR-15s into World Peace and Unification Sanctuary for a religious event that doubled as an advertisement for the Second Amendment.
The church, which has a worldwide following, believes the AR-15 symbolizes the “rod of iron” in the book of Revelation, and encouraged couples to bring the weapons. An AR-15 was used in the Florida high school massacre on Feb. 14.
The Rev. Sean Moon, who leads the church, prayed for “a kingdom of peace police and peace militia where the citizens, through the right given to them by almighty God to keep and bear arms, will be able to protect one another and protect human flourishing.”.
Funny, in a kind of way. And then this:
An attendant checked each weapon at the door to make sure it was unloaded and secured with a zip tie, and the elaborate commitment ceremony went off without a hitch. Some worshippers wore crowns made out of bullets.
Crowns made of bullets?
Er, yes. Crowns. Made. Of. Bullets.
So, religion (i.e., the belief in one’s own chosen status as protected by an all-powerful deity) and AR-15 rifles (i.e., machine guns) together at last. What could go wrong?
It’s a good job all the sickos and psychopaths were outside:
…Sreymom Ouk, 41, who attended the ceremony with her husband, Sort Ouk, and came with their AR-15, said the weapon is useful for defending her family against “sickos and evil psychopaths.”
Oh, and don’t forget, the Bible says that you are allowed to carry a gun:
“People have the right to bear arms, and in God’s kingdom, you have to protect that,” she said. “You have to protect against evil.”
Hmmm. When they made us say “Deliver us from evil” I didn’t realise you were supposed to pump 13 rounds per second into evil’s ass with a semiautomatic assault weapon.
I guess religion is just way cooler than I thought.