Check out the Siberian Times. Actually not a satirical website…
#1. People illegally smuggle a 200-year-old mummified monk out of Mongolia. They tell the cops the guy is still alive and simply meditating. An “expert” agrees with them. Expert is this guy.
#2. A jail is named Russia’s best place to be imprisoned (there’s an actual competition).
#3. World’s coldest “professional” disco takes place (-43C). Participants include 100-year-old woman. Who is definitely alive.