Let’s get the controversy out of the way first. In the interests of full disclosure, I need to reveal an interest. I consume coffee. There. I’ve said it. Now you may think there is nothing particularly strange about that. After all, some 80% of the world’s population consume caffeinated products every single day. And while coffee has many questionable effects on health, it is generally regarded as an uncontroversial beverage — certainly, in terms of public debate, it is far removed from hard liquor, tobacco, or Class A drugs. However, according to recent reports, we might have to change our views a little. In fact, according to the media, science has now shown the world that coffee has in fact the potential to interfere with mental states in very dramatic ways. Allegedly, the research shows that consuming large amounts of coffee makes you hear voices. Yes, you heard that correctly. Coffee is hallucinogenic! Wow, man. Heavy…
But wait! Does this mean that coffee should be banned or at least controlled? After all, other hallucinogens (such as LSD or ketamine) are proscribed largely because of their mind-altering properties. Stopping short of all-out prohibition, maybe we should just prevent coffee-drinkers from driving or from operating heavy machinery? How about teachers, doctors, and nurses? Shouldn’t they be barred from consuming coffee too? What if they start hearing voices while looking after children or treating patients? Don’t the powers-that-be get it?! The study showed that coffee is an HALLUCINOGEN for goodness sake!!! Except, well, it didn’t. Not really. Continue reading
